The Great Escape

One night while I was stationed in Alaska, my buddy Jackson and I went to Anchorage on Saturday night. There wasn’t much to do so we decided to go to a strip club we had heard about. It was cold and we were wearing Army issue parkas that we took off and hung up when we went in. We didn’t drink but they insisted that we buy a beer, so we did. We nursed that one beer for a while and soon two strippers came over sat down at our table, we thought we must be pretty hot for the to choose us. They asked if we’d buy them a drink. We said we’d love to. The bar tender came over, asked what they’d like and was told the usual. While they were waiting for their drinks, Jackson and I were sitting there like a couple of dumbasses, smiling, until the barmaid brought two bottles of the cheapest wine made and said “Here you go girls, here’s your champagne!” She told us that we owed her $28.00 a bottle, we didn’t have $20.00 between us. The barmaid came prepared. She had three big, ugly bouncers with her. I jumped up and said I had to go to the restroom, which was close to the front door. They had kept Jackson. I could have gotten away, but I wasn’t about to leave Jack. While I was trying to think of what to do next, Jackson busts into the restroom. I still don’t know how he got away. Anyway, we dashed out the front door leaving our parkas behind. Instead of running up the street we cut across a vacant lot. The snow was so deep that we fell down every twenty feet or so but we finally got to the bus station before we froze.

We never did go to the Flats  The Flats was what they called whore town. I had a friend who came in one night from the Flats with an ugly hole in his head. A whore had hit him on the head rally hard with a high heel shoe. It is such a good thing that the Lord watches over fools and drunks because we were the fools.
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