Monthly Archives: July 2015

Outta here

A few years ago there was a young lady who worked in one of our local restaurants, who grew up in  a large family of hard working people and had spent much of her childhood in the hay fields.  This girl had learned wel the art of being independent by the time she was grown. One evening at the restaurant the cook quit and the other  waitress didn’t come in.. There was total chaos. The owner was trying to cook, but doing a very poor job of it and doing it very slowly.   The customers were becoming more irritated by the minute because they had to wait so long to get their food. One highly disgruntled men asked in a mean voice when his food would be ready. The young lady replied, as she was taking off her apron , “I don’t know, you will have to ask someone who works here.”  From that moment on, she didn’t.

Buddah

In the end, only three  things matter: How much you loved, how gently you lived and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.

Are We Really This Dumb

We once had a crude talking presidents who is said to have made a statement about another politician  that goes something like this “the only way he will not be elected is to be caught screw— a goat on the courthouse steps.”  I’m afraid we have that same situation with Hillary, because 47 percent of the voters would vote for her if it were reveled that she is the AntiChrist  The Democrats have the block vote of the labor unions, the blacks, the hispanics , the gays, the Jews and the Yellow Dog Democrats who vote for Democrats because their daddies did. Then we have the Republicans, who are so divided that many stayed home during the last presidential election rather than to vote for a Mormon, thus helping to elect the worst president this country has ever had. Are we really that dumb?

America’s Worst President

This country has a president who is strutting around Washington like a bull with three cods. If he gets what he wants during the remainder of his term in office, this country will never recover. He now wants the Federal government to mandate who our neighbors are, what we teach our children and a mountain of things that I hate. If he tries to take our guns, he is in for a huge surprise. He is familiar with the black gangs in Chicago, but he has no knowledge of Cowboys and Rednecks. He will know if he pushes too far.

The cool taste of menthol Another tale about Dan Hunter

When  nylon shirts first came out, the material wasn’t smooth, it had bubbles embossed in it and those shirts were the hottest damn things you could put on your body, like the first clear plastic car seat covers. You started to sweat at the mere sight of ’em. The cool thing to do in those days was to roll up a pack of cigarettes  in the sleeve of short sleeve shirts. As a teenager Dan came home one night, not realizing that his daddy was still up and that he had forgotten to take his cigarets out of his sleeve. Dan’s daddy saw the cigareetts and said”well I see that you’ve started smoking”. Dan couldn’t deny it and said “yes sir”. Mr. Hunter said “well let’s go in the fireplace room and smoke awhile. I don’t know much about cigarettes, buy I remember they were Kools  and had a menthol filter or something that was supposed to make them special, but from all accounts a body could overdose on ’em.. Dan’s daddy made him smoke the whole pack that night. Dan said that he thought that every one he  smoked would be last one he had to smoke, but he was wrong, they sat there until he had smoked the whole pack and the menthol had done a job on his lips and mouth to the point that he could hardly eat for three days.  Oh, how smart we were at that age.

Gun control

You have to wonder if the liberals,  progressives, socialist or whatever they call themselves these days, who are wanting to take up our guns, have any idea how many people were slaughtered before the first gun or Confederate flag existed. If they ban every thing that has been used to kill with, we won’t have much left.

Rich brother

My daddy had a cousin whose name was Jim Hogg. He  was one of the funniest people I ever knew. He didn’t cotton much to physical labor and didn’t have much success farming., but was able to get a real estate license when it was easy. He was entertaining to his customers and was able to,make somewhat of a living selling real estate. Jim had a brother, whose name was Will, who went to Califorina as a young man and prospered. Jim called him his rich brother and said he couldn’t have been more successful  because he had heard  that Will was sleeping pajamas and his wife, Florance, was wearing shorts. When Jim was still trying to farm, Will sent him word that he was coming to visit. Since Will had done so well,  Jim wanted Will to  think that he had also done well.  So, Jim went to Western Auto and bought a fan to show Will how comfortable he was living, and he went to A dry goods store and bought a pair of shoes to put in the room , where Will would sleep, to show Him that Jim had more than one pair of shoes. Will lacked two days staying two weeks and planned to spend his last night in Texas with a friend in Athens. Jim was anxious to get to Athens to return the fan and shoes, because he couldn’t get a refund after two weeks. As it turned out, Will’s friend was out of town and he would have to spend one more night with Jim. The fan and shoes were no longer there to show Jim’s  good fortune. He was busted.

Town drunks

A man told me funny story the other day about two town drunks that we all knew and who lots of you knew. He said they started out real neat and well dressed in sport coats and slacks before they went on a three day drunk. The man who told me this story was a boy at the time, working for an infamous mercantile store in this little town. He met the two  very drunk men on the street on the third day of the drunk. He said they looked awful. One had a 6 inch in diameter stick of bologna under his arm and had just pulled out a big plug of it with his hand, taken a bit of it and offered the rest to the youngster. The other man had an onion in his pocket  that they had been  gnawing on, that he also offered to the boy, who was fresh out of appetite. He thanked ’em for the offer and moved on.

The Great Escape

One night while I was stationed in Alaska, my buddy Jackson and I went to Anchorage on Saturday night. There wasn’t much to do so we decided to go to a strip club we had heard about. It was cold and we were wearing Army issue parkas that we took off and hung up when we went in. We didn’t drink but they insisted that we buy a beer, so we did. We nursed that one beer for a while and soon two strippers came over sat down at our table, we thought we must be pretty hot for the to choose us. They asked if we’d buy them a drink. We said we’d love to. The bar tender came over, asked what they’d like and was told the usual. While they were waiting for their drinks, Jackson and I were sitting there like a couple of dumbasses, smiling, until the barmaid brought two bottles of the cheapest wine made and said “Here you go girls, here’s your champagne!” She told us that we owed her $28.00 a bottle, we didn’t have $20.00 between us. The barmaid came prepared. She had three big, ugly bouncers with her. I jumped up and said I had to go to the restroom, which was close to the front door. They had kept Jackson. I could have gotten away, but I wasn’t about to leave Jack. While I was trying to think of what to do next, Jackson busts into the restroom. I still don’t know how he got away. Anyway, we dashed out the front door leaving our parkas behind. Instead of running up the street we cut across a vacant lot. The snow was so deep that we fell down every twenty feet or so but we finally got to the bus station before we froze.

We never did go to the Flats  The Flats was what they called whore town. I had a friend who came in one night from the Flats with an ugly hole in his head. A whore had hit him on the head rally hard with a high heel shoe. It is such a good thing that the Lord watches over fools and drunks because we were the fools.

 

The Good Samaritan

One Summer during my college years, I was working in Pecos, Texas mopping boiling asphalt onto flat roof houses. The temperature got up to 110 degrees before I went to work. I was pretty sure my daddy was trying to kill me when he gave me that job! It was the worst job he could have given me but I was the first one to get there and the last one to leave. I was determined to show my daddy that I was as good as or a better man than he was. I stayed in a rented room and ate in cafes three meals a day. There was a cute girl who worked in the café where I always ate breakfast and soon I had arranged for us to go on a date. When I took her home, her daddy came out of the house with a shotgun, called me a son of a bitch and said he was going to shoot me. The girl quickly explained that I was not who he had thought I was and when he saw me in the light, he realized that to be true. The next day she told me how mean and abusive her daddy was and how bad he made her life. That did it, I came up with a plan. She wanted to be a beauty operator and would need to go to school to accomplish that. I decided to lay out of college, continue working, and send her to live my mother and go to school. I would pay her expenses. One day before Summer was over, a man I knew told me that he had seen my girlfriend, I asked him where. He said she was on a dirt road near his farm in the backseat of a car with an “old boy”, who turned, of course to be the man her daddy wanted to, and probably should have shot. I changed places to eat breakfast and never saw her again. Sometimes its hard to help folks, no matter how hard you try.